A colleague of mine asked me a while back a simple question: "What's the best advice you ever got?" Navigating through choices in life is hard. Uncertainty seems everywhere. The pace of change is dramatic. How to stay on top? How can I correct after an error? How do I maximize the chance of success?
While I can’t claim any core wisdom on these issues, I have received some good advice along the way. I also pay attention to what others who are successful do and say. I can summarize the best advice I ever got in three phrases:
- Be prepared
- Pass going uphill
- Ask for feedback
“Be prepared” is a bit out of favor in our instant messaging, ultra short attention span era. I’d guess I first experienced "be prepared" in the Boy Scouts — yes, I really did do that. The staff that works for me now once confided in me that they call me ‘the boy scout’ behind my back. I can think of lots more worrisome images for the ‘boss.’ Being prepared is doing your homework. And not just the Cliff's Notes the night before. Read the articles, digest the material, and think. These days it often means “Google it!” — see what else I can learn. Being prepared means making better decisions with some data, examples, or history to guide me. And I still have my backpacking list, honed over 40 years of hiking, with reminders of all the stuff I need to take along to be prepared for wilderness contingencies. And that list does not include a GPS unit or a cell phone. It does include wool layers and waterproof matches.
“Pass going uphill” came from my high school cross country ski coach. We practiced it every fall when we were running. We’d do “wind sprints” on our long runs. The guy in the back of the line had to sprint around the rest of us to the front. Coach made us do it going uphill to practice for the real races in the upcoming winter. His idea was twofold. First, you can dig deep and find an extra reserve to push even when you think it's tough going up this hill. Second, the guy you just passed is likely to drop back faster if you pass him when he thinks he’s working as hard as he can. It’s about winning.
“Ask for feedback” is about managing myself. I wish I had learned this one earlier in my career. I’m sure there were mentors and coaches who tried, but I didn’t really get this one till I had assumed some management and leadership roles. Comically, I remember talking with my close friend and partner Michael Polifka about perceptions of myself over the years. I would sometimes lament to him that others didn’t understand me or my intent. His advice was very pragmatic: “get over it; just do the right thing.” It was good advice, and I used it.
Then later I hired a career coach as I entered several leadership roles. Howard’s advice has been clear and consistent. The only way you can understand how others perceive you is to ask. And you have to do so frequently, in real time, and of different constituents. Perception is, in fact, reality. I have to get over my internal compass. I know my intent. It doesn’t matter that I meant well. If others perceive my actions or behaviors as insensitive, wrongheaded, or worse, then I need to know that. And the only way to learn, and get better, is to ask. So I ask 2 questions about whatever the topic is: 1) what am I doing well? And 2) what can I do better?
I still don’t do this often enough. I still get caught up in my agendas, projects, timelines and bull forward. Then I bump up against some negative perception and think “wow, I did it again…didn’t ask for feedback often enough, and hit a wall”. So, like the rest of you, I am still learning.
So readers, tell me, what is the best advice you ever got?